DCU 52 Overview

As most people know by now DC comics is re-launching. There will be 52 new comics premiering in September. With this new re-launch I’ve decided to do an in-depth analysis of each of the new comics, and by in-depth analysis I mean 1-3 sentences pulled right out of my ass. Here we go.

Justice League: Dark

I will buy anything with Deadman in it. Also seriously, how do you pronounce Constantine? Is it like teen or tyne?

Swamp Thing

I know not much can compare with Alan Moore’s run on Swamp Thing, but Scott Snyder’s pretty fricken awesome. I go into this one with no helpful knowledge, but a lot of faith.

Animal Man

I’ve never really had the chance to read Animal Man, all I know is that his name is Buddy and he has some “will they won’t they” sexual tension with Starfire…Hopefully the series won’t be about either of those things, I’ll give-er a shot though.

Demon Knights

I like the Middle Ages and rhyming so I’m a go for this one.

Frankenstein: Agent of Shade

Never read Frankenstein as a DC character is he supposed to be Frankenstein’s Monster or Frankenstein himself? How close is this to the Shelly version? How obvious is it that I did no research on the character?

Resurrection Man

I’ve seen this guy appear a few times across the DCU, and I’m intrigued to see the tragic tale they will weave about a man who cannot die, and must bear the burden of becoming accustom to a new power with each life. That or I’m excited to see the violently creative ways they kill him each time.

I, Vampire

I already have my fill with American Vampires. Also I think its strange having a series called I, Vampire and another one called iZombie. I’m looking forward to the 2012 release of I, Mummy (mummies are due for a return).

Voodoo

Don’t really know this character. I’ll give it a shot but I fear this series may be short lived. Because if I’m not interested in it from the get go it’s obviously due to fail. DC is catering to me right? 

Justice League

Geoff Johns and Jim Lee working together? I don’t care if this was a Klarion the Witch Boy series I’d pay a lot of good money for it. Actually screw that, I want a Klarion ongoing series.

Wonder Woman

I’ll buy it, I’ll read it, and I’ll probably think it’s mediocre, like Wonder Woman has been for oh so long. I hope I’m proven wrong, I doubt I will be. (yes, even with Azarello)

Sandbox Games: In Which I Realize I'm a Horrible Human Being

I love video games. I really really do. I’ve been playing them all my life. My childhood is filled to the brim with memories of me failing at Link to the Past and that armadillo game for the Genesis. But when comic books entered my life in my teenage years, gaming took a back seat. Sure, whenever the newest Zelda or Final Fantasy game came out I would buy them instantly, but with all the time I spent reading I didn’t have as much time to spend on hour long Smash Brothers matches with my little brother.

Once I realized this truth it saddened me. Video games helped shape the socially inept person I am today. So over the past few years I’ve been trying to play more games to make up for lost time. Some may say that’s a waste of time, but I replaced any sort of physical activity with my renewed interest in video games. So there. 

With my grand return to gaming, one style that is really popular stood out to me as unfortunately one that I am horrible at. That is of course, the open world or “sandbox” games. Not because I am lost without an extremely linear plot, no simply due to the fact that I am a psychotic monster. 

A few months ago I popped in Fallout 3 for this first time (yes I told you I was behind) and I did pretty well until I realized you could basically kill anything or anyone your little heart desired. That underground vault was a mass graveyard an hour after I started. I had to restart the game twice before I made it out of the vault without beating everyone to death with my bare hands.

Radroaches? That's not what I'd be afraid of Butch

When I thought about my history in gaming my actions totally made sense to me. I thought this was just because I wasn’t used to sandbox games, but really I’ve been this horrible my whole gaming career. The first time I can remember acting like this I was playing a James Bond game for the N64.

No not that one

The World is Not Enough’s first level takes place in a bank. I don’t even remember what you have to do to finish the level, but what I do remember is that you could use your nifty laser watch to fry the receptionist. Unfortunately if you did that you received an instant Mission Failed. That didn’t stop me from doing it a few more times. Never did beat that game. Also I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know there WAS a plot to Grand Theft Auto a few years after I bought it. Though I do have to say my hooker execution technique is really quite excellent.


It took playing these sandbox games for me to realize that I should probably be a nicer gamer, and hopefully I will complete the games without butchering any important characters. For now, I am still at the beginning of such modern classics as Oblivion, Fallout and Red Dead Redemption. But I can see a change on the horizon. The first step to recovery is realization right? Now, if only I can learn to succeed in most FPS' I may one day earn some real gamer cred. 

Yeah but guys I've caught like 420 Pokemon. That's totally cooler than Bioshock. Guys?

Online Work

I wrote some stuff for a real website! I interned there and everything.

Check it out.


Dual Core Processors

Ain't Nothing but a G Thang

Should You Upgrade to the New 2011 iMacs?

The Ballad of the PlayStation Network Breach

In Defense of Stephanie Brown

In 2009, when the first issue of Batgirl was announced, I was super excited. Batgirl hadn't had her own series for a few years and the Batgirl mantle had always been a favorite of mine, so you could see how this would be exciting news. Would Cass finally be back in the DCU? Could Babs be possibly getting out of that chair? What about Charlie from Birds of Prey, could she be filling that iconic role? It couldn't possibly be Stephanie Brown, the only person who was a worse Robin than Jason, and solely responsible for starting a gang war. 

FAIL

And yet it was her. A character I absolutely hated, getting to be an integral part of the Bat family. I was devastated, as were many. The fan outcry was loud. Not many were pleased with DC's choice of Batgirl.

But I still picked up the first issue. Even with such a loathsome character. I read it and wondered how quickly it would take Steph to screw it up.

And then I picked up the next issue.

And the next.

And quickly, I was hooked.

When Stephanie wasn't causing gang wars she was pretty, dare I say, cool. Her sole purpose in life wasn't to be Tim Drake's girlfriend, and I was loving it. It seems like Steph spent her entire comic existence trying to prove herself, but once she did, she was on fire. She is witty, smart, and brave. She is fantastic. The storyline's are great, the dialogue is whip smart, and Stephanie Brown is currently one of my favorite characters. This is all due to the fantastic writer Brian Q Miller.

But now, after 3 more issues Bryan Miller will be off the book. It's being relaunched and Barbara Gordon will be returning to the mantle, and to top if off it's being written by Gail Simone.  If you told me this two years ago I would be ecstatic. Nothing would have made me happier. Believe me I am super excited. It's my favorite character being able to walk and kick ass using her legs again. But this victory is bitter sweet. I will miss Steph. I think she's shown so much growth as a character, and I was looking forward to seeing her find her place in the DCU. With the reboot she will probably live in the background again.

Plus,  I'll miss Brian Miller, who right now doesn't have any immediate plans with DC, but anyone who can get such turnaround on a character is worth their computer in gold. DC would be fools not to give him another book.

But man, even with this book ending it's been an awesome run. Stephanie proving herself worthy, lipping off Damian, partnering with Supergirl, and working alongside my favorite witch boy.

I refuse to say goodbye to Stephanie Brown and Brian Miller

Only farewell, for now.

The only person who wears purple better is
Galactus

A Quick Note on South Park

About twenty minutes ago I finished watching the latest episode of South Park. You're Getting Old was a pretty big statement. Of what specifically, is being be debated, but I saw it as a comment that it may be time to pull the plug on South Park.

Let me make things clear, not only do I love South Park. It is my favorite show of all time. I can name most of the episode titles by heart, I went as General Disarray for Halloween, I can spell Willzyx without looking, and I think I lost some friends due to my obscure South Park quoting.

So much duct-tape

I'm not saying this to brag about my lame love, I'm just stating that South Park fills a small void in my heart, and even so I would be okay if it ended. I love Matt and Trey and they have given me some great quality stuff, but if they aren't feeling it, maybe its time to gracefully bow out. But don't end with You're Getting Old. It was great, but man what a bummer.

Just give us seven more classic episodes of South Park, ones about the boys and the town, not about celebrities or trends, give us seven episodes that stand along side the entire 6th-8th season run. I know it's hard to do but lets end on a high note. It's okay. We fans understand. If you want out, we want out. I'd rather see the series end like this then it continue with creators who don't want to be there, contract re-newels be damned!

Lets end this show about an amazing quiet, little, pissant, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one horse, mud hole, peckerwood, right-wing, whistle stop, hobmail, truck driving, old fashion, hayseed, inbred, unkempt, out-of-date, out-of-touch, white trash, kick ass, mountain town.

This gets me every time