DCU 52 4: Live Free or Relaunch

 

Blue Beetle

Well I love Jaime I’d just rather see him with the JSI. Also one time the Scarab made a South Park reference…if that could happen again it would just be peachy.

Suicide Squad

Many important changes are being made in the DCU, and none more important than turning Harley Quinn into a slutty clown who won’t be able to move without a boob slip

Legion Lost/Legion of Superheroes

I’ve never been much of a Legion fan, but Legion Lost looks interesting, I’ll probably stay away from LoS.

Teen Titans

What are they doing to these characters?? Why is Cassie a thief?? At least Tim has a domino mask, but I’m not happy this is his prominent series.

Static Shock

I could go for this, but as usual I will make my prerequisite complaint about how Tim deserves his own series more.

Hawk and Dove

This is a series I’m looking forward to since Birds of Prey is jumping the shark(jumping the King Shark?) This is going to be the most prominent versions of Hawk and Dove I’ve ever been exposed to.

Action Comics

Grant Morrison you say? This should be awesome. I’ll just probably have to read it 4 times to understand it.

Superman

I wish George Perez was writing and illustrating, but I’ll take George Perez in anything.

Supergirl

“the same powers as Superman and none of his affection for the people of Earth”. Great, once we finally have a set version of Kara’s personality we have to shake it up again. Plus what is with the knee-less boots? Actually ….I kinda like them.

Superboy

Another series where it looks like they will change the character a lot. Boo. Again Tim Drake series > Superboy.

Stormwatch

I hope the DC characters plays nice with the new Wildstorm people. They’re new you know.

Blackhawks

This looks pretty cool actually, but I’d want at least an appearance by Zinda Blake

Sgt Rock and the Men of War

No, this is not Call of Duty

All-Star Western

I really should start reading Jonah Hex eh. But I do prefer my westerns to be in space.

Deathstroke

COOL. Uniforms slightly confusing. But, COOL.

Grifter

I don’t know who this is….. Deadpool?

OMAC

I’d like to end on a strong note but I literally can’t form an opinion on OMAC. So. Yeah.  

DCU 52 3: Man Part Two had an Awesome Rhyme Scheme

  
Green Lantern

After seeing the Green Lantern movie a GOOD GL story is welcome.

Green Lantern Corps

I love Kyle. That is all.

Green Lantern: The New Guardians

I don’t know why we need four GL series, but again I don’t question Batman when he has ten titles so I owe this a chance.

Red Lanterns

This is like the bad boy equivalent to the nice guy Green Lanterns. As a female I am by law required to ditched Green Lantern and go for the Red Lanterns, their motorcycles, and devil-may-care attitudes. It may be wrong but it FEELS SO RIGHT.

Batman

Scott Snyder yeah yeah

Detective Comics

Something feels so wrong about renumbering a series that was in its 800’s. I feel dirty reading it, and not in a good way.

Batman & Robin

Although I love the Dick and Damien dynamic, I look forward to seeing how Bruce deals with the little shit. I also look forward to Bruce inevitably punting him off a bridge and then punching Talia in the face for letting such a monstrosity exist in the world.

Batman: The Dark Knight

Slightly darker and knight-ier than the other titles

Batwoman

Oh hey this thing still exists? Well, if it actually comes out I’ll buy it, but I’m not holding out hope.

Catwoman

I’m sad to see the loss of Gotham City Sirens but I think its time for our favorite good-bad girl (bad-good girl?)  to regain her own title.

Birds of Prey

Well I already have lowered expectations for this series since DC has decided to take away all the characters that made the series great in the first place, unless that one blonde is Black Canary, but seriously is that Black Canary?

Batgirl

Love Gail, love Babs. I know there is controversy but it’s Gail freaking Simone. You know you’re going to love it.

Nightwing

What was wrong with blue?? I mean seriously, red? Who is he, Tim Drake?

Red Hood & the Outlaws

Is this book about 3 gingers taking their revenge on the population of the earth for all their ginger hating? If not, don’t you wish it was?

Batwing

Team Nightrunner. All. The. Way.

DCU Overview 2: Electric Boogaloo

  
Aquaman

I’m not going to miss Johns working his magic on Arthur like he did for Hal. And I will pay double if they bring back the badass beard!

The Flash

I can’t think of anything clever to say. I just want to read this.

The Fury of Firestorm

The fantastic creative team plus the dynamic between Ronnie and Jason will make me 3 dollars poorer. You better buy this shit.

The Savage Hawkman

Fuck that guy. Boo hoo I can never be with my true love. Go write in your journal and cry along to Simple Plan. I bet your parents don’t understand you either, do they Hawkman?

Green Arrow

I think this series should be about a large investigation into why no one who saw Green Arrow and Oliver Queens beard ever made the connection that they were the same person.

Justice League International

After how amazing the Generation Lost series was, this is one of the new comics I’m most excited about. More Red Rocket!  

Mister Terrific

I’m not a big JSA fan so all I know about this series is that the guy is terrific, and prefers the Mister spelling over Mr.

Captain Atom

I don’t think we need this, why can’t he just chill with the JLI?

DCU Presents:
An anthology. This could be good or terrible or mediocre. As you can tell I’m really making a statement about this comic

DCU 52 Overview

As most people know by now DC comics is re-launching. There will be 52 new comics premiering in September. With this new re-launch I’ve decided to do an in-depth analysis of each of the new comics, and by in-depth analysis I mean 1-3 sentences pulled right out of my ass. Here we go.

Justice League: Dark

I will buy anything with Deadman in it. Also seriously, how do you pronounce Constantine? Is it like teen or tyne?

Swamp Thing

I know not much can compare with Alan Moore’s run on Swamp Thing, but Scott Snyder’s pretty fricken awesome. I go into this one with no helpful knowledge, but a lot of faith.

Animal Man

I’ve never really had the chance to read Animal Man, all I know is that his name is Buddy and he has some “will they won’t they” sexual tension with Starfire…Hopefully the series won’t be about either of those things, I’ll give-er a shot though.

Demon Knights

I like the Middle Ages and rhyming so I’m a go for this one.

Frankenstein: Agent of Shade

Never read Frankenstein as a DC character is he supposed to be Frankenstein’s Monster or Frankenstein himself? How close is this to the Shelly version? How obvious is it that I did no research on the character?

Resurrection Man

I’ve seen this guy appear a few times across the DCU, and I’m intrigued to see the tragic tale they will weave about a man who cannot die, and must bear the burden of becoming accustom to a new power with each life. That or I’m excited to see the violently creative ways they kill him each time.

I, Vampire

I already have my fill with American Vampires. Also I think its strange having a series called I, Vampire and another one called iZombie. I’m looking forward to the 2012 release of I, Mummy (mummies are due for a return).

Voodoo

Don’t really know this character. I’ll give it a shot but I fear this series may be short lived. Because if I’m not interested in it from the get go it’s obviously due to fail. DC is catering to me right? 

Justice League

Geoff Johns and Jim Lee working together? I don’t care if this was a Klarion the Witch Boy series I’d pay a lot of good money for it. Actually screw that, I want a Klarion ongoing series.

Wonder Woman

I’ll buy it, I’ll read it, and I’ll probably think it’s mediocre, like Wonder Woman has been for oh so long. I hope I’m proven wrong, I doubt I will be. (yes, even with Azarello)

Sandbox Games: In Which I Realize I'm a Horrible Human Being

I love video games. I really really do. I’ve been playing them all my life. My childhood is filled to the brim with memories of me failing at Link to the Past and that armadillo game for the Genesis. But when comic books entered my life in my teenage years, gaming took a back seat. Sure, whenever the newest Zelda or Final Fantasy game came out I would buy them instantly, but with all the time I spent reading I didn’t have as much time to spend on hour long Smash Brothers matches with my little brother.

Once I realized this truth it saddened me. Video games helped shape the socially inept person I am today. So over the past few years I’ve been trying to play more games to make up for lost time. Some may say that’s a waste of time, but I replaced any sort of physical activity with my renewed interest in video games. So there. 

With my grand return to gaming, one style that is really popular stood out to me as unfortunately one that I am horrible at. That is of course, the open world or “sandbox” games. Not because I am lost without an extremely linear plot, no simply due to the fact that I am a psychotic monster. 

A few months ago I popped in Fallout 3 for this first time (yes I told you I was behind) and I did pretty well until I realized you could basically kill anything or anyone your little heart desired. That underground vault was a mass graveyard an hour after I started. I had to restart the game twice before I made it out of the vault without beating everyone to death with my bare hands.

Radroaches? That's not what I'd be afraid of Butch

When I thought about my history in gaming my actions totally made sense to me. I thought this was just because I wasn’t used to sandbox games, but really I’ve been this horrible my whole gaming career. The first time I can remember acting like this I was playing a James Bond game for the N64.

No not that one

The World is Not Enough’s first level takes place in a bank. I don’t even remember what you have to do to finish the level, but what I do remember is that you could use your nifty laser watch to fry the receptionist. Unfortunately if you did that you received an instant Mission Failed. That didn’t stop me from doing it a few more times. Never did beat that game. Also I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know there WAS a plot to Grand Theft Auto a few years after I bought it. Though I do have to say my hooker execution technique is really quite excellent.


It took playing these sandbox games for me to realize that I should probably be a nicer gamer, and hopefully I will complete the games without butchering any important characters. For now, I am still at the beginning of such modern classics as Oblivion, Fallout and Red Dead Redemption. But I can see a change on the horizon. The first step to recovery is realization right? Now, if only I can learn to succeed in most FPS' I may one day earn some real gamer cred. 

Yeah but guys I've caught like 420 Pokemon. That's totally cooler than Bioshock. Guys?